Saturday, February 09, 2008

Happiness is Overrated

The February 11 issue of Newsweek has an article titled "Happiness: Enough Already." The gist of the article is that melancholia "generates 'a turbulence of heart that results in an active questioning of the status quo, a perpetual longing to create new ways of being and seeing." And the authors conclude that this is a good thing. In other words if you are perpetually happy you no longer long for anything and become constipated, boring, and coasting through life. Some of the article is based on a new book coming out - "Rethinking Happiness" by a father and son team --the Dieners.

Since I have not read the book, I cannot comment on it. But I do tend to agree with the Newsweek article on the popularity in our society of medicating anyone who finds themselves depressed. The clinical definition of depression is too easy to fit most of us at many times in our lives. Medicating this feeling away seems to me a false approach to growth and understanding. Yes, there are people who become suicidal and therefore need medical intervention. But too many of us in our wealthy and self-stimulated society are taking pills to avoid normal pain, to pretend that feeling depressed is not natural.

Pain/depression is a lesson. It tells us something is wrong. It tells us we must step back and move in a new direction. It reminds us that we cannot make it alone in this world and we should turn to those who love us for help. It tells us we are alive and when we begin that time of happiness (and it will come) -- great or small -- we will only fully appreciate it if we can contrast it with the sadness. We can also be more emphathetic and understanding of others' sadness when we take time to go through our own periods of the blues.

The cliche that great art results from great sadness seems to be true. Therefore, will our society not produce any great works of art because we are counting out pills from a bottle with each hiccup in our life's path?

I also think that if our society accepted mild depression or sadness as a temporary transition rather than a permanent setback, we would have fewer suicides. If we accepted that folks are going to be gloomy for a little longer than we like, than we would be more tolerant of their struggles. We need a little patience in this solve-it-in-24-hours-so-we-can-get-on-with-our-lives. We need to hold their hands and see if they can turn it around. We need to remind them of the good times or share our good times. We need to be patient. It is a fine line, but if we follow our instincts we will know the difference.

As Lucy would say, that will be 5 cents please.

7 comments:

  1. Great post! The doctors put ALS people on pills before they can process the diagnosis. I've never allowed them to drug me except at night (muscle relaxers) to keep stiffness away. They want me on those all day. Can you say zombie?

    XXOO

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  2. And well worth the 5 cents!! I know that too many people want to toss back a pill for everything that somes their way and every emotion. I have not ever thought that was a good solution to problems that may not be truly physical. I was given a prescription for a tranquilizer once many years ago. I took about 3of them and that was it for me. I tossed them into the trash and never took another one.

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  3. My doctor gave me some pills so I could sleep better -- and they're anti-depressants, which I don't need, never having been seriously depressed. My life has got to get on hold, or something.

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  4. What a great post! You said it so well especially when you said when you go through your own sadness then you can understand another person's feelings.

    Only the person who's feet hurt can understand when the other person says their feet hurt too.

    Lots to think about.

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  5. Anonymous2:58 PM

    Yes, your post gives much to think about. It could be that older people can handle depression and low spirits better since we didn't have meds for those things in our youth. I have found that my low spirits are usually followed by a big bounce back up. As if the low spirits served a purpose, as you say more eloquently.

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  6. I have always enjoyed my melancholy moods. Artists produce some of their best work during this time. We can look at the sad mood as an exercise for our psyche just like a head cold exercises our immune system to keep it running in top shape for the more serious stuff we may encounter.

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  7. it has been in the midst of my deepest pain that i have questioned the most, written the best, examined with the greatest detail, and ultimately became my best self. great post.

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Take your time...take a deep breath...then hit me with your best shot.