While it has been the only thing on my mind for months, I was not going to write about this in my blog; but maybe I can move on with my life if I put it down in black and white and try to figure out WTF is going on and how should I handle it! I know that no one out there is interested because we all have our problems but….sigh.
I did blog briefly about this a while back. I had lost my program budget last year and yet still had to play nice with the people who had a budget in the partnership part of the program. Well, the good news is that I got my budget back, but the warning “Be careful what you wish for” has new meaning for me.
I submitted an annual operating plan AOP (bureaucratic speak for ‘What are you going to do if we give you some money and how will you measure your accomplishments in concrete terms?’) in November. I never got any feedback on that AOP and yet 60 days later I was notified that I got the budget I requested. Now, I don’t think I am crazy when I say that I logically assumed the activities and goals in my AOP were what I was going to work on implementing. Right?
As the past three months have transpired, I have been thwarted at every level in doing this. How? 1) 50% of what I do has been assigned and TAKEN OVER by someone else. She is very smooth about consulting me, but she has been given permission by the money people to run the show and she has reduced my role to baby steps. 2) 20% of what I do (outreach) has been put on hold until we are ‘ready’ to move forward. We are not going to be ready in this area any time soon as anal retentiveness is this groups claim to fame. 3) 20% more of what I do is being continued because it involves international relationships, but I have been told that the leadership has no, zero, zilch, nada interest in pursuing this part of the program any more. 4) 10% of what I do is based my own creative efforts and with the approval of my immediate supervisor. This is what I have been filling my days with, along with participating more fully in professional projects of my colleagues.
I will not be fired if I don’t get anything done in my AOP nor will I be reprimanded as my boss can find many ways to use the money. I won’t get a raise or any rewards, though. Why did they give me this budget? I think it was all political to show that they play nice with all the divisions. This group is big on showing TEAM efforts. It would have taken real guts to tell me to go suck an egg.
Even though I have been around the block a few times, it does make me feel as if I have lost any competence I may have had. It makes me feel as if any past work I did was not really worthwhile or significant. I intellectually know this cannot be the case, because I have been evaluated well and even gotten an award two years ago. But this is a really crappy way to move toward retirement.
Nobody in the whole wide bureaucracy you can talk to about this? Why would an organization be interested in spending its time wheel-spinning? SOMEBODY must care...
ReplyDeleteThis makes me unhappy. I think to brighten my spirits I will go look at your house.
i am so sorry that you are going through this. and, as one who has been in similar circumstances from time to time, i certainly understand your predicament. it is amazing how bureaucracy works...and how impotent we can feel/be in the face of it.
ReplyDeletei can tell you this, however: stress kills. there is no job worth too much of it. retirement is in sight. blessings need to be counted in that regard.
i think the larger question is this: what is your current job description and what job does management see you doing at this point? this would be my major concern since your performance evaluation and your employment should both be attached to this. you cannot be evaluated on a job someone else is doing!
since i tend to be assertive, i would probably go straight to my supervisor and the next level of management in a combined conference and point out that this reassignment of duties has the potential to affect my pocketbook so a revision in the performance evaluation tool is in order (so that raises are not adversely affected by it or the AOP which is no longer applicable). even if they don't do it, they will realize you KNOW the inequity exists.
since your entire job description has changed it seems that a revision is called for anyway. it sounds like your old job no longer exists.
is it possible you were assigned the money only so your supervisor's larger dept. would have a larger budget, and it was NEVER intended that you use it to begin with? these things do happen in bureaucracy!
good luck and again, i am so sorry you are going through this. hope you find some peace amidst this turmoil soon.
While I do miss working in an office, these are the sorts of situations that make me very glad to be where I am now. Work politics and bureaucracy have never been things I dealt with very well, especially when I feel like the victim of some sort of conspiracy. What really stinks is that it has more to do with who is better at kissing up rather than who can actually make a difference in the organization. This will be something I'll have to deal with somewhere down the line... but then hopefully I can head back to the workforce and somehow avoid the annoying people. Heh, can you tell I'm just not a people person when it comes to the office? :)
ReplyDeleteJust picture your house. Your beautiful house. Having breakfast with that gorgeous view every morning. :)
I'm with Sky in saying sorry that you are going through this. I hope you will find a way to ensure your rights regardless of what others want to do.
ReplyDeleteThat is very disappointing for you. Visualize that beautiful home and the peace of retirement :)
ReplyDeleteSky makes some valuable points and suggestions here. I'm sorry you're at the nasty end of office politics, Tabor. Reading things like this remind me why I'm happy to be at home right now - (a lengthy vacation between jobs for me) - and the others are offering wonderful advice too ... to keep your chin up and focus on the lovely home. "Oh what things will come!" (this could be your mantra)
ReplyDeletethanks for all the input...you are right in that my life is good. But, it is so important to me to think I am making a contribution! At least my boss is sympathetic and as soon as I see what the immediate future holds, I will be assigning myself something better.
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