Monday, November 11, 2013

Addictions and Fancies

I sincerely believe that anyone who has a passion for living also has an addiction or two or three.  Some compelling desire that follows he/she around, sits on their shoulder, makes them rearrange their day to accommodate space for the addiction, forces them to be distracted, and in general, can sometimes annoy others around them who do not understand this inner call.  Responsible life interferes with most of us making these undernourished addictions into fancies rather than compulsions.  Others, less responsible, go on to become famous by following their addictions...or destitute and alone.

When I was a small child I was addicted to make believe friends and stories.  Each day when I could get away from chores and family I could return to my little world of Flash Gordon where we traveled through space and solved problems as I explored the mountains near my home.  I was also addicted to the outdoors and spent most of my free time playing in the Rocky Mountains.  My other addiction was collecting things such as rocks and minerals, little dolls, comic books, and maybe some other items that I have now forgotten.

When I was in middle school it was collecting and listening to LP and SP albums of my favorite musical groups and singers.  These coming of age years were stressful as they are for most people, so I also spent much of my time reading as an escape to other worlds.  Getting books at the library was an essential orgasmic experience.  I played with monthly calls to draw and paint, although I was not very talented.

In high school I became addicted to friendships.  Being with my BFFs was important in figuring out who I was.  I continued my love of reading and added writing as as a compulsion.  I also began my love of photography with the gift of a camera, but with little money for film and developing it was not allowed to blossom into a true addiction.   I continued my addiction to hiking in the great outdoors, although I had moved to the flatlands by this time, and that involved walking or biking around farmland.

In college I took an introduction to writing class and that fueled the tender love that I had with writing in my youth into an addiction of sorts.  I had infrequently had periods writing poems when in middle school, but now that I had the rules and exercises I wrote something at least once a week and actually enjoyed the writing assignments in all of my classes.  I also took an elementary drawing class and got an A which left me feeling I might actually be able to draw!  I did not nurture this fancy in those years, as perhaps I should have.   I was also addicted to dancing and went every weekend if I had the money or the boyfriend with money.

While newly married, and living in the South Pacific on a tiny island, I discovered the symmetrical beauty and texture of sea shells and became addicted to collecting them on weekend boat excursions to various reefs.  I most often collected shells that had died, but I must admit that I also collected many live shells and destroyed their lives just so that I could admire their skeletons on my shelves. I also drew them to fuel my drawing addiction.  I collected and cataloged hundreds.  My reading addiction continued and I added underwater photography to my fancies.  (I won't talk about the newly-weds addiction to each other, because that has more to do with survival of the species and we all have that.)

When I had my two children, they became a very compelling addiction.  Even on exhausted days when I needed a break from their little antics, I was so addicted I could not keep them out of my mind or heart for a second. The withdrawal from being in their lives on a daily basis was a bitch.  (I now find that I go through withdrawal during the weeks I am away from my grandchildren while recovering from the exhaustion of those times.)

During my career years my little free time was filled with reading, some travel when it was affordable, and outdoor camping and hiking satisfied my continuing addiction for the outdoors.  I still toyed with writing, but as an addiction it left me unsatisfied when I would review what I wrote in spurts of time.  (I personally think it is much harder for women than men to indulge in those addictions begun in their youth if they have a house and family to manage.  Many men, not all, continue spending hours working out, at sports, hanging with their buddies or whatever, and do not respond to pressure or guilt to spend more time with family and household as they hone these addictions.)

As an elder I find the freedom to pursue addictions both wonderful and intimidating.  Just because you love something, does not mean you can do it or that you will be rewarded because you are good at it.  My outdoor activities continue but with a cold and serious eye to my aging body and what it will let me do.  I can no longer sleep on the cold hard ground, and my youthful fearless biking gives way to an honest review of how long it takes to fix something that gets broken from a fall.  My old eyesight is forcing me to be so much more careful as a photographer and age also means you no longer have a super steady hand.  Thank goodness for IES lenses.  Reading is still a love, but I cannot sit for hours with a book in hand as I used to and the freedom to read more than one book at a time also tests my weaker memory skills.  AND writing has gone from actually writing something...to blogging!  Although I keep toying with the idea of actually creating a collection of writing of some sort.  My gardening addiction (which I guess I always had but never knew) continues, but I no longer feel guilty if I have to hire someone to do the heavy stuff.  It is still my garden.

So what addictions and fancies do/did you have and have you had to make compromises?




28 comments:

  1. Oh my
    you are making a lot of thoughts happen.
    In the last of the these 70 years I thought I would have arrived at so much in my life and it has not happened. I am better in some ways and other ways not much improvement.
    I finally have time to garden, write, read, use my camera and just sit. But all of these done at no length, just snatches during the day. I have never conquered a spirit of busyness, now have a little help occasionally where in the past I refused. Still worry about my children and feel so protective of them and thinking of them like they are much younger then their actual age and now grandchildren. There is more peace in my life then ever before
    and I love this...

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  3. What an insightful post! I think I'd like to write a post of my own as an answer to your question. I'm off to tend the grands till Thursday but will be thinking about my own addictions and the pursuit of them. This is what I like best about blogging - the presentation and exchange of ideas.

    One should never hit publish till one has proofread, hence the deletion!

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  4. I too was (and still am) addicted to fantasy land and make believe. As I child I played with imaginary friends. As a single mother of two in the 70's, I created a good Fairy Hilda who would visit the children at bedtime and tell them stories of her home Half-way-up-the-sky. The children in turn would tell Hilda their daily adventures. It is always a good place to retreat when reality got a little rough. These days conversations with my amazing chickens, cats and my dog Slim keep me entertained:)

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  5. Reading, writing, dabbling in drawing, walking, camping, running (for a while in my younger days), sewing, paper crafts of one sort or another, shell (on,my, so many!) and rocks, and let's not forget the computer and its hold on my life in recent years.

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  6. Reading, my grandkids, art, pondering imaginary scenarios that I think I will be writing about, and education. Although being in the center of moving homes my obsessions have been blotted out by that process. I hope to take a writing class at the Community College this winter. Oh, and my computer.

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  7. those are so good addictions..
    mine.. my husband and boy.. reading.. travelling, sweet things..

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  8. You delight me. I hope I can be forgiven my many and unhealthy addictions. Now days I have much happier addictions wandering through my life. Writing, photography, ships, research, drawing....fun stuff. Hugs.

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  9. I've had addictions that like with yours have changed over my lifetime. Pretty much when I believe an addiction or obsession (not too dissimilar) is hurting me or someone, I drop it. Otherwise I just enjoy it until something else comes along that displaces it ;) Passion is considered by most to be a positive and it's not that far from obsession sometimes. The key is recognizing if it has become harmful.

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  10. I've always believed that everything is addictive; It's just a matter of degree for different folks, based on heredity and upbringing. Some folks, as you noted, become successful following their addictions, while others become destitute.

    My bad addictions include smoking, gambling, and drug usage. Of the three, I now control two and indulge very rarely. Good addictions? I suppose there should be some sort of dividing line between those that are just fun but harmless and those that actually help. Playing sports has been a good one, mostly, as it keeps me in shape and keeps me in contact with some good friends. Writing has been profitable, at least a little bit. Comedy Teams are an addiction of mine that has probably kept me healthier (laughter is the best medicine, as someone once said.)

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  11. I sure do hope that heaven is real so that we can be perfect people with no physical, mental, or time limitations. Imagine the fun we'll have as we cater to our addictions and fancies.

    If I could do it all, I'd do much of what you mentioned. Reading, writing, hiking, biking, collecting interesting objects, photographing any and all people and things, spend time with like-minded people, etc.

    But since this isn't heaven, I'll continue to grab some joy wherever and whenever I can.

    Fun to read post!

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  12. Since I retired, I have not had to make many compromises with others about my preferred activities, which are reading, writing, cooking, making pottery and cultivating my orchids and traveling to visit grandkids. We've also had wonderful visits to Peru and Sweden in the past years.
    Lately I have discovered that my favorite way of keeping track of my children and grandchildren is by telephone. They turn on the speaker phone and we visit. I see plenty of photos and vids via Facebook. I don't like skype, which seems odd and unnatural to me. I think there is a time lag or something that ruins our interactions.
    I asked a friend once whether I had an addictive personality, and she laughed. Not part of my make-up, it seems. I can be a little itchy and scratchy sometimes (psoriasis), though,which I guess is more like a compulsion.

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  13. I'm addicted to creating things, pictures with paint or stories with words. I've had to give up on the notion of ever making significant money in my lifetime but mt creative pursuits have kept me young at heart and happy.

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  14. One of mine is reading, and another is helping people. If i couldn't indulge either of those, i think i would wither up and blow away.

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  15. Nowadays I am addicted to keeping an eye on friends and family. With family it is especially about seeing the younger ones making a life. With friends it is about watching them make sense of their lives as you have done in your post. Every Blessing www.freda.org.uk

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  16. ah i am def addicted to reading and to stories....they are the collection that has stuck with me over the years....from just learning to read...i have boxes of books....and i love to listen to the stories of others....

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  17. Wow! What an inspiration you are. I hope your kids read your blog so they can know and appreciate what a renaissance woman you are! Passions definitely change over a lifetime - in these years I am passionate about healthy choices, healthy relationships, staying connected, and yoga. And now that I am living alone, I have discovered that I LOVE cooking, setting a beautiful simple table and feeding friends and family. I am also intrigued by my own private social experiments that include inviting people who don't know each other to share a meal in my cottage. Sometimes it works, sometimes not so much.

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  18. Anonymous12:57 AM

    We are so much alike in so many ways, it's uncanny. For the most part, this echoes all of my addictions and the cycles of each of them!

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  19. Hmmm. At this stage in my life it may be easier to list the things I am NOT addicted to.

    Heh, heh.

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  20. I hope you do put some of your writing together in a collection because you are such a good storyteller. All those years of reading were a good training for writing.

    I don't remember having additions as a kid. Must think about that. I was addicted to friends and boys I liked and then collecting shells, yes! The first thing I bought after opening a savings account at the age of 22 was a camera! My first and worst but it worked.

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  21. Decorating: I have to tell you honestly, my style evolved from lack of money. Long ago and far away, someone gave me a white sofa. Walls in those days were "Mushroom", truly a mushroom soupish color. I changed the walls to white and began to collect art. I bet your rooms are just as lively as mine. :)

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  22. BTW: I note that we are getting closer. :)

    I also note that I left my return comment to your note on yesterdays entry.

    Nothing is fancy at my house, and most things are used and were once broken. I slip cover the furniture to hide the differences in the upholstery....blue on the top of the Morris chair and red stripes on the bottom. All but the sofa are inherited including the dining room table. Ive gotten fond of all the pieces over the years, but my longing for ultra modern has never quite gone away. :)

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  23. I have some of those too-
    I rather enjoy your blogging addiction!
    Cool list-
    I too have killed some shellfish, but unintentionally! I'd love to see your shells sometime... Mine are common n small...

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  24. As I read this, I was thinking, yeah....

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  25. What a lovely post! I adore these little glimpses of you throughout your life.
    Music used to be such a huge addiction for me. I was always singing. Always on stage. Always in some musical or show. It has been a long time since I've given in to that addiction. It is very time consuming. Someday, I may get back into it again.

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  26. What a great post. Among my addictions through life, there's been or still is reading, photography, cross stitch, embroidery, music, walking and cats.

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  27. What a great post, Tabor!
    Like you I had additions as a kid, as a teenager, as an adult...and now as an old lady too.
    This insightful post make me think and remember which addiction I did along my life...
    I wish I could to write well in English...

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  28. I'm missing you. :)

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